Originally published in The Edge Magazine

Question: I have been a spiritual seeker almost all my life. I have had many wonderful experiences and feel I have grown and evolved immensely. However, there is still one area which I feel has not changed much and that is my fear of dying. How can I overcome this fear of death?

Leonard’s answer: If you are not present, and you are functioning mostly from within the mind, then death is always approaching, and it creates fear in two ways. The first is that we are afraid of the unknown, and generally what happens after death is unknown, and so we are afraid of it. To the extent that you are afraid of death, you will miss life, simply because the fear of death keeps you in the future, and life is only truly experienced in the present.

Fear of death also arises because of our attachments. The more attached we are to people or things, the more we will fear losing those things and so the more we will fear death. (more…)

Question: Is it possible to think and be present?

Leonard’s Answer: It is important to know that there are levels of Presence. It is as if Presence exists on a vertical scale or axis. As you deepen into Presence, you cross a point on the vertical axis where time disappears. Now you are in the Eternal realm. There is no time. Life does not exist outside of the moment, and you do not exist outside of the moment. You are completely absorbed into the Oneness. You are completely absorbed into the moment of Now. All sense of separation has dissolved. It is a highly exalted state. At this level of Presence, thinking is impossible. At this level, there is no one here as an individualized Being to think. Any thought would take you out of the moment. Of course, revelations can arise out of the silence, but this is radically different from thinking. A sense of knowing arises out of the silence, but this is radically different from understanding that occurs within the mind. To experience this level, even for a few moments will transform every aspect of your life, including your sense of yourself.
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Question: As an “unconscious” parent, how can I help my daughter stay in the world of the present moment?

Leonard’s Answer: The best way to help your daughter stay in the present moment is for you to be present with her. If you find that difficult, then you have some healing to do. Most of us abandoned the present moment in childhood, as a way of escaping the pain of living in a world where our parents were not truly present. It was too painful.

We repressed the pain, and then we ventured further and further into the mind as a strategy of avoidance. In other words, we followed in the footsteps of our parents, just as they did with their parents. The outcome is that we are no longer present, and when we have children of our own, we cannot be present with them. In fact, your daughter’s presence can unconsciously remind you of the pain from your own childhood, which makes it even more difficult to be present with her.
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Question: I am deeply distressed with my life as I approach my 50’s. I have always considered myself to be a compassionate, spiritual and aware person. I was kidnapped and raped at knife point at 23, widowed suddenly at 32 with 2 children, and recently divorced.  There have also been many unfortunate deaths in my immediate family. Though I am a seeker who reads, meditates, and studies, I have become fearful, depressed, full of anxiety and extremely lonely. I feel like I’m wasting my life and can’t seem to find a way toward peace and happiness.  Can you help?

Leonard’s Answer: Everything that occurs in your life is directed towards one end, which is your own awakening. Every difficult or painful event is a reflection of what is in need of healing at the soul level, and reveals the primary lessons you must learn if you are to awaken. Every painful experience is an indicator of the limiting beliefs that you acquired in childhood that are affecting your experience of life. Often these limiting beliefs originate in a previous lifetime.

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Question: You speak of a hierarchy of repressed emotions as follows: anger, hurt, need, and fear. I gather from what you say that our needs, other than for survival, are an illusion. Is awareness of these needs all that is necessary for them to be met and to move beyond them? Is there some action we must take?

Leonard’s Answer: The only true need is the need for others to be present with us. All other needs are substitute needs. When we came into this world as tiny and vulnerable babies, we had a need for our parents to be truly present with us. But to varying degrees, they were not, and so we did not feel safe. In order to feel safe, we began our pursuit of substitute needs.

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