Question: I have been a spiritual seeker almost all my life. I have had many wonderful experiences and feel I have grown and evolved immensely. However, there is still one area which I feel has not changed much and that is my fear of dying. How can I overcome this fear of death?

Leonard’s answer: If you are not present, and you are functioning mostly from within the mind, then death is always approaching, and it creates fear in two ways. The first is that we are afraid of the unknown, and generally what happens after death is unknown, and so we are afraid of it. To the extent that you are afraid of death, you will miss life, simply because the fear of death keeps you in the future, and life is only truly experienced in the present.

Fear of death also arises because of our attachments. The more attached we are to people or things, the more we will fear losing those things and so the more we will fear death.

To overcome the fear of death, you will have to become more present.

When you are present, you are in the unknown in the sense that the remembered past or the imagined future is not with you. All you know is this moment, not because you understand it or know it with your mind, but because you are experiencing it, moment to moment. It is very peaceful, and the more present you are, the more you will trust the unknown and the more relaxed and accepting you will be.

If you are truly present, there is no such thing as death.

One moment, you are here, alive. The next moment you are here, alive. If you remain present, then at the point of passing all you will experience is a moment of transition as you leave the body. Prior to that moment of transition, if you are present, you will experience peace, love, gratitude, acceptance and compassion. During that moment of passing, if you are present, you will experience peace, love, gratitude, acceptance and compassion. After that moment of passing, you will experience peace, love, gratitude, acceptance and compassion.

You will also experience a lot of light as you are returned to the dimension of the soul. Before this incarnation, you existed as a soul within the soul dimension. After leaving the body, you will be returned to that dimension, but your experience there will be radically transformed by the level of Presence and Oneness realized in this lifetime. Future incarnations will be radically affected by the level of Presence and Oneness realized in this lifetime.

To be fully present, you will also have to surrender your attachments. You accomplish this by bringing everything that you are attached to into consciousness. Own your attachments. Acknowledge them and confess them. Your attachments keep you imprisoned in the past or future. Your attachments keep you out of Oneness and in separation. Realize that you came into this world alone, and you will leave this world alone. You cannot take anything or anyone with you, but you can take your sense of attachment with you. This will create fear and it will contribute to the soul’s sense of separateness and loss.

In truth, you are the champion of the soul and it is through your awakening into Oneness through Presence in this lifetime that your soul will be restored to immortality. The more present you are in your day-to-day life, the more present you will be in that moment of transition. If you are present, it is truly a moment of great inspiration for those who love you. It is a moment worthy not of grief, but of great celebration.

~Leonard Jacobson

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Leonard’s Answer: It is important to know that there are levels of Presence. It is as if Presence exists on a vertical scale or axis. As you deepen into Presence, you cross a point on the vertical axis where time disappears. Now you are in the Eternal realm. There is no time. Life does not exist outside of the moment, and you do not exist outside of the moment. You are completely absorbed into the Oneness. You are completely absorbed into the moment of Now. All sense of separation has dissolved. It is a highly exalted state. At this level of Presence, thinking is impossible. At this level, there is no one here as an individualized Being to think. Any thought would take you out of the moment. Of course, revelations can arise out of the silence, but this is radically different from thinking. A sense of knowing arises out of the silence, but this is radically different from understanding that occurs within the mind. To experience this level, even for a few moments will transform every aspect of your life, including your sense of yourself.

But you don’t have to be at this deep level of timeless Presence all the time. As you ascend on the vertical axis of Presence, time becomes once again available. You can use your mind to think, and you can participate in the world of time, but you no longer get lost there. It is more than enough if you are fundamentally present. This means that you are more grounded in Presence than you are lost in the mind. Now you can think, without becoming reabsorbed into the mind. You think consciously, and when you are done thinking, you naturally return to Presence. You are no longer a victim to those endless thoughts that keep dragging you to somewhere in your past or somewhere in your future.

Of course, as a present and conscious being, you are free to think, remember, imagine, and enjoy the world of time in any way that you like. The beautiful thing however, is that you can move up and down the scale of Presence at will. One moment you might be choosing to consciously think. The next moment, you are at the deepest levels of eternal Presence and silence. You are no longer imprisoned within the mind. You can move freely between the world of the mind and the eternal world of Now. Your memories, beliefs, ideas and opinions still exist within the mind, but you are no longer identified with any of it. You know that only this moment is the truth, and you are relaxed in that simple truth.

You can also speak from Presence. When you speak from Presence, there is no agenda that originates from within the mind. You are not speaking from within the mind. You are speaking and expressing from the source, which is at the center of your Being. You are present as you speak. You can also create music or art from Presence. Even Einstein’s most brilliant inspirations arose from the source and not from his mind. In these creative and inspired moments, the mind is simply a clear instrument of expression.

~Leonard Jacobson

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Leonard’s Answer: The best way to help your daughter stay in the present moment is for you to be present with her. If you find that difficult, then you have some healing to do. Most of us abandoned the present moment in childhood, as a way of escaping the pain of living in a world where our parents were not truly present. It was too painful.

We repressed the pain, and then we ventured further and further into the mind as a strategy of avoidance. In other words, we followed in the footsteps of our parents, just as they did with their parents. The outcome is that we are no longer present, and when we have children of our own, we cannot be present with them. In fact, your daughter’s presence can unconsciously remind you of the pain from your own childhood, which makes it even more difficult to be present with her.

In order to be present with your daughter, you will have to go through a process of feeling all the difficult feelings repressed within you. In a sense, you have to reverse that process of repression. It does not have to be difficult, and it does not have to take long.

The first step is to remember the present moment, many times each day, so that gradually you become more and established in Presence. Your daughter can also be your teacher. Just tune into her, and she will show you how to be present.

Then you can begin the process of allowing all the painful memories and emotions from the past to surface into conscious and responsible expression. If you are present, it is not difficult, because you know that the feelings are from the past and have nothing to do with the present moment, and so there is no need to continue repressing them. You allow the feelings to surface into an inner environment that is loving, accepting, allowing and compassionate.

As the feelings arise and as you experience them consciously, they release from you. You are no longer avoiding things hidden with you, and so you can be more and more present with your daughter. It will be as much a blessing for you as for her.

~Leonard Jacobson

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Leonard’s Answer: Everything that occurs in your life is directed towards one end, which is your own awakening. Every difficult or painful event is a reflection of what is in need of healing at the soul level, and reveals the primary lessons you must learn if you are to awaken. Every painful experience is an indicator of the limiting beliefs that you acquired in childhood that are affecting your experience of life. Often these limiting beliefs originate in a previous lifetime.

And what do I mean by awakening? To awaken is to free your self from the pain and limitations of the past and open into the unlimited world of Now. It is to know yourself as an Eternal Being, totally transcendent of the circumstances and story of your life, which until now have been defining you and giving you a sense of who you are and what your life is all about.

If you look at the circumstances of your life, you will be able to identify the limiting beliefs that have affected you, the lessons you are here to learn, and what is in need of healing from your past.

More than likely you have been abused or violated in the past, and I am not limiting the past to this lifetime. In a most mysterious way, your experience of abuse in this lifetime is an opportunity to heal a wound that most likely exists at the soul level. Of course this does not in any way excuse your abuser. If he had known the terrible karma he was bringing upon himself, he would never have abused you. He will have to live with the consequences of his actions.

Losing your husband at such a young age is also a reflection of some deeper soul wound or experience. If you believe that life isn’t safe, it will manifest in a way that will affirm this belief. If you believe that others will hurt you, they probably will. If you believe that those you love will die or leave you, it is likely to happen.

These wounds and beliefs are all based in a painful past, and for the most part they function at an unconscious level. As long as they remain unconscious, they will continue to affect every aspect of your life.

This is because the outer world manifests as a reflection of your inner world. If your inner world is filled with these limiting beliefs and emotional wounds and impressions from the past, your life will manifest in a way that corresponds to your inner world. That is why it is so important to bring it all to consciousness for healing, completion, and release.

If you learn the art of being present, you will be completely free of the past. As you deepen into Presence, and heal and release the past, your inner world will open into love, gratitude and peace. You will know that the present moment is safe. What world will manifest as a reflection of your inner world when you are present?

You say that you have become fearful, lonely, depressed and full of anxiety. It is because you have not recognized your true purpose in being here. It is very simple. Your true purpose in being here is to be here. Most of us are not here. We are lost in an illusory world of the past and future. We are lost in a dream. Some people are lost in a happy dream. There is no motivation to awaken from a happy dream and so it is unlikely that they will awaken. But those who are caught in an unhappy dream have a greater chance of awakening. But it depends. Will you choose to remain in the dream, hoping that it will get better? Or will you free yourself from the dream and awaken into the present moment, which is free of the dream? You also say that you feel like you are wasting your life and that you can’t find your way to peace and happiness. The only way to peace and happiness is to free your self from the dream and awaken into Presence.

~Leonard Jacobson

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Leonard’s Answer: The only true need is the need for others to be present with us. All other needs are substitute needs. When we came into this world as tiny and vulnerable babies, we had a need for our parents to be truly present with us. But to varying degrees, they were not, and so we did not feel safe. In order to feel safe, we began our pursuit of substitute needs.

“Well, if you will not be present with me, then will you at least love me?”

It soon became obvious that we would not receive the level of unconditional love that we needed to feel safe, so we went after the next substitute need.

“Well if you will not love me, then will you at least accept me unconditionally?”

That substitute need was not met.

“Well, if you will not love and accept me unconditionally, will you at least approve of me, or acknowledge me, or make me feel special.”

With each step we take in pursuit of these substitute needs, we are moving away from ourselves and becoming lost in others.

Most of us spend our entire lives in pursuit of these substitute needs, completely unaware that all we really need is for others to be truly present with us. One who is fully present is loving, accepting and acknowledging. When another is truly present with you, you get it all.

-Leonard Jacobson

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