Question: As an “unconscious” parent, how can I help my daughter stay in the world of the present moment?

Leonard’s Answer: The best way to help your daughter stay in the present moment is for you to be present with her. If you find that difficult, then you have some healing to do. Most of us abandoned the present moment in childhood, as a way of escaping the pain of living in a world where our parents were not truly present. It was too painful.

We repressed the pain, and then we ventured further and further into the mind as a strategy of avoidance. In other words, we followed in the footsteps of our parents, just as they did with their parents. The outcome is that we are no longer present, and when we have children of our own, we cannot be present with them. In fact, your daughter’s presence can unconsciously remind you of the pain from your own childhood, which makes it even more difficult to be present with her.
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