Question 20
I don't understand the aspect of sex in one's life. Should one use sex for only producing offspring or should sex be embraced freely when truly in love? Is sex a part of the lower self and in order to become the higher self, one should overcome this aspect of oneself by remaining a virgin?. Should sex be embraced in life in balance with other aspects of yourself?. What are your views on homosexuality is it natural or abnormal?
Answer
Very few people are masters of their sexual impulses and urges. The ego is often deeply involved in sexual activity and expression. Sex in today's unconscious world has very little to do with love. We are essentially using and manipulating each other with our sexuality. We are relieving ourselves from stress. We are using sexuality to avoid loneliness. We are using sex as an instrument of control and power, which is often abusive. We use sexuality as a measure of our self worth. We are often unconscious in our sexual expression. Sexuality is sometimes used to manipulate another into relationship with us.
If we are not in a state of inner balance and harmony and if we are not getting the intimacy in our lives that we need, sexual energy often becomes perverted. It begins to express itself inappropriately. I do not mean in any way to be judgmental. It is a simple observation. For example, excessive interest in pornography usually implies a certain degree of alienation in that person's life.
As we awaken, and become more present, then sexuality becomes an expression of love. The experience of being fully present with another as you make love opens both of you to a very deep sense of communion. The emphasis is no longer on orgasm and ejaculation, but rather sexuality has become an expression of love. There is such a perfect harmony in Presence that lovers relax and open up into a deep sense of Oneness. The dualities of man and woman and lover and loved are transcended as Oneness emerges from within the embrace. At the deepest level of Presence, you are not making love. You are love!!
This does not mean that if you are not fully conscious and present, you should abstain from sexual expression. Sex is just like any other aspect of your life. Take responsibility for your unconsciousness. Be aware of old wounds or limiting beliefs that play into your sexuality to prevent you from being whole and fully present. How does your parental and religious conditioning limit you? How have you been affected by social attitudes? How does the relationship between your mother and father and particularly their attitude to sexuality impact upon you?
Bring all these things to consciousness and free yourself from all limitations. You cannot bring these things to consciousness if you abstain from sex.
As you free yourself from these limiting patterns and painful; wounds from the past, then you become more present and sexuality becomes an expression of love. It is an expression of you as love.
The final part of your question is about homosexuality.
This is far more complex. Let me begin by stating that I have no judgment of homosexuals. I take no moral position, nor do I believe in sin. I do suspect, however, that some people take on a homosexual lifestyle as a result of some disturbance in their background. For example, some males might orientate themselves towards homosexuality if their mother was overly dominant and their father was weak or submissive. It leads to a kind of reversal in the context of sexual identification. However, I am sure that there are males and females whose genetic make up leads them into a homosexual orientation.
Who are we to judge them? We are far more endangered by our judgments than their sexual preferences. We all carry within us male and female hormones. These hormones don't always balance out in a perfect way. Imbalance affects sexual orientation in a way that is not yet fully understood.
The only situation I feel concerned about is when homosexual behavior arises within the context of hedonism. That is an indication that we have gone so far into unconscious pleasure seeking, that honesty, love and integrity are no longer qualities that we value. If that is the case, then consequences will flow into our lives. And we will have to live with those consequences. But that is just as true for heterosexuals as it is for homosexuals.
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