In a private session, you told me that I'm not in my power and you called me a "wimp!" Well now I am willing to look at that more closely. It is hard to acknowledge, but my marriage and my work life are hitting me right in the face. I'm a doormat and I don't like it. Now that I'm willing to face this problem and do something about it are there any tips you can give me to start taking control of my power and not be a doormat? I would appreciate any comments on this matter.
To return to a full state of empowerment is rather a large topic to answer here. I suggest that you read Embracing the Present.
But for now I will share this much with you.
When you were born, you were empowered in the sense that you knew what you wanted and you knew what you did not want. And you knew how to express it. It was all very simple then. If you were hungry, you cried.
But that simple power was gradually taken from you as you learned to do what others want. You gradually lost touch with what you want and learned to put up with what you did not want. Slowly you learned to live for others rather than for yourself. You learned to live up to the expectations of others rather than remain true to yourself. You entered into the world of blame and guilt, expectation and resentment, control and manipulation.
In other words, you entered the world of the human thinking mind, prevailed over by the ego.
A return to true power involves a return to knowing what you want and what you do not want, moment to moment. It is very simple. If you are hungry, eat. If you are thirsty, drink. If you are lonely, ring up a friend for a coffee. If you are overwhelmed with too much company, then get away by yourself.
Sometimes what you want will conflict with what another wants. There is no reason why you cannot compromise and find a meeting point, which makes all parties happy, as long as you are not compromising to a point where you are no longer getting what you want, or having to accept what you do not want.
When I speak of knowing what you want and acting upon that knowing, I am not speaking of desire for things in the future. True power arises in knowing what you want now, and having that fulfilled now.
The final thing I would add is that true power is best combined with wisdom.
True power is expressed in the sentence.
"I know what I want. I know what I do not want. And I am clear in expressing it."
Wisdom is expressed in the following two sentences.
"What I want is constantly changing, so I am not attached to the outcome! " and "If I am free to have and to do as I want, so are others, and so I would not impose upon others what I want, nor would I allow others to impose upon me what they want."