Question 28
I am in a dysfunctional relationship that causes me a lot of pain, and is very disturbing to my emotional balance, but I find it very difficult to leave her. What am I afraid of?
Answer
The deepest fear we have is the fear of being alone. It is a fear of isolation. A fear of separation. The source of the fear is our original separation from God, love and Presence. We try to escape this fear by having someone in our life who we believe will be here for us. It helps us to avoid the feeling of separation. But it does not really work, at least not for long. Instead, our partner reflects to us all the old wounds and unfulfilled needs within us which are still in need of healing and release. We are also forced to face our limiting beliefs, our judgments and our control patterns.
Eventually we will have to awaken out of these old wounds and limitations and live more fully in the present moment. It is only Presence that truly dissolves the subtle feelings of separation.
From a place of Presence, we can enter into relationship, but when we do, we make Presence the foundation of our being together. True companionship, and the opportunity to express love, caring and kindness become the real value of relationship.
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