Question 32
In a recent awakening experience, I had the utter realization that there was no "I" and that there was also no other. I saw that my personal identity was simply a set of ideas and beliefs. I also saw that there is no free will, other than the divine. There is no "I" to do anything, but in your books, you talk of free will and making choices. Can you please explain this apparent contradiction. I also saw that I could not choose that awakening experience, or do anything to get it, unless the divine wanted me too. As simply as my awakening came, it went! Now my ego is back feeling all the familiar fear, worry and concern. Please comment.
Answer
First, your description of what you experienced is a very beautiful and accurate description of an awakening. I know exactly what you are speaking of. At the very deepest level of awakened Presence, which is the level you experienced, there is no separation. There is just a total immersion into the moment of now. All sense of your self as an individual existing outside of this moment disappears. Indeed, there is no world outside this moment. And so who will choose. At this level, the notion of free will is simply irrelevant. It is neither true, nor is it untrue.
But there are different levels of consciousness that we function at. At the level of mind, we do have free will. We exercise free will constantly and we have to live with the consequences that inevitably flow from our choices and our actions. Most of us are not very adept at connecting the consequences with the choices. It is by connecting the consequence with the choice that we evolve. We bring consciousness to the choices we make. Essentially, I am speaking about the law of karma.
By connecting the choices with the consequences, we will eventually be led to the primary and fundamental choice. Do we choose to live in the truth and reality of the present moment, where God is the Creator or do we choose to live in the illusory world of the mind, where we are the creator? The consequences that flow from this choice are radically different.
In a sense, we have been given free will to lead us to a point where we happily surrender our will to the will of God. What I am speaking of is expressed in the parable of the prodigal son.
For most people, this fundamental choice is not available to them simply because they have not experienced the awakened state and it can only be known through direct experience. You cannot choose something you do not know.
It was by grace that the direct experience of truth and God awakened within you in the way that it did. What you experienced was a state of liberation from the limited world of the mind. You experienced life and truth in the fullness of NOW!
What you experienced can never be lost. But it can be obscured. If you find yourself again caught in the world of the mind and ego, it simply means that God wants you to do the work. You are being called upon to become conscious of how you become lost in the world of the mind. You are being called upon to bring full consciousness to who you have become at the level of mind/ego. You are being called upon to find the way through from mind to Being, so that you will never again become enslaved by the ego or imprisoned within the world of the mind. You are being called upon to bring full consciousness to the choices you make.
Each moment of our lives is being orchestrated by God, even if we are not aware of it. The intention behind that orchestration is to awaken each and every one of us, by bringing to us an awareness of the fundamental choice. Do we choose to be awake in the truth and reality of life lived now. Or do we choose to live in the illusory world of the mind.
Once we truly choose the present moment, a gradual shift takes place. It is an evolutionary shift. We begin to deepen into Presence. We become more grounded in Presence. And then everything changes. We are no longer caught within the world of the mind and under the absolute control of the ego. More and more we experience freedom and the truth of life. More and more, we feel that we are living in Heaven on Earth.
As I have said,, there is one fundamental choice that affects all other choices and that is the choice to bring ourselves into the present moment. To bring ourselves present is like bringing ourselves before God and declaring. I am here now. Do with me as you will!"
Share This Post | Print This Post
- |
